Turkish Television.

Turkey is a rapidly modernising country and it is not unusual to see quite provocative advertisements for some of our favourite products. Ladies I urge you to google “Biscolata advert” you will really not be disappointed.

But our day to day television is often like something from the 1970s UK. Our films are all dubbed I to Turkish and anything considered too raunchy is cut out. My husband was stunned when he saw the uncut version of Borat.

We have Turkey’s got talent but unlike the UK show it is on for 3 hours at a time and they do not cut anything so you get to see every last excruciating interview and act. The judges are really nice and I’ve never seen them buzz anyone.

My husband will tell you he doesn’t watch television much. He watches 3 series a week but again they are on for over 2 hours and they run an hour of the previous weeks before hand so you can catch up. We have Karadiye on a Monday, Muhteşem Yüz Yil on a Wednesday and then Thursdays is Kürtlar Vadısı Pusu.

Karadiye is all bristling men, beautiful tearful women with the odd kidnapping and tales of lost love. Wednesdays we get to see the Ottoman Empire in all it’s glory…the costumes are fantastic and the jewellery gets copied and is available to buy for an extortionate price in glossy magazines. Then Thursday……. the TV widows night……no self respecting man would miss this. To many of them it is real …… Every week people get killed by shady double agents, the Mafia have a lot of say in the way things are run, all the main characters have been shot, drowned or kidnapped in the last 4 years but they are indestructible. They carry on the fight.

The Turkish government tries to protect us so alcohols is blurred out and cigarettes. They even blurred out a hand that was been attacked with a stapler is week….shootings are fine. I watched The good The bad and the Ugly recently, the cigarettes and been replaced with flowers…….not quite the same effect. The macho cowboy smokes a daisy and reflects on life!

The evening news is broadcast in all it’s glory…..we see mangled car wrecks, flame filled houses and dead bodies next to car wrecks with blankets tossed over them…..often surrounded by big pools of blood. We get screaming, grieving relatives…..nothing is missed. But this is the news, it’s really happened in Turkey today…no need to blur anything out or consider the families might not want to see their tragedy repeated over and over again on television.

It’s not all doom and gloom we get some comedy programmes. Personally I don’t think they are very funny. But the rest of the family seem to love them. Really bad acting and shaky sets.

Whatever you decided to watch……you can tell the heroes, the real macho men. The ones that are going to save women, children, animals the whole world………… How? They have moustaches…..rest assured the moustache is alive and well in Turkey. Real men have moustaches……not wimpy little things I’m talking big and bushy…the size of a small rodent.

Luckily here are ways of getting UK channels………. I can avert my gaze, put my headphones on and watch something on ITV in relative peace unless there is something really important happening on the television…..and then I get nudged and urged to turn mine off and watch the next shooting, stabbing, kidnap or gory murder.

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